SIDE EFFECT OF NANO
Illogical ........Humor
Students secures lower grades in the externals, after looking at the mark sheet he asks professor.
Student : "Can you answer any question ? " .
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."
Student : "Can you answer any question ? " .
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."
Smart wife
Letter from husband ( who is abroad) to wife
Dear Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart
Your husband
John
============ =========
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses
Instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items....... ....
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart
Alena
Dear Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart
Your husband
John
============ =========
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses
Instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items....... ....
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart
Alena
Depends on the way u ask
Jack and Max are walking from religious service.Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?"But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion." Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try." And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."
Moral: The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
Moral: The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
Dominance
Men and women on earth die and go to heaven.
God comes and says," I want the men to form two queues one line for
the men who dominated their women, and the other one for the men who
were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away
so that no man and woman can talk."
Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines.
The line for the men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles
long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only
one man.
God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I
created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates.
Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud.
Learn from him! Tell them, my son, how you managed to be the only
one in this line?"
The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
God comes and says," I want the men to form two queues one line for
the men who dominated their women, and the other one for the men who
were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away
so that no man and woman can talk."
Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines.
The line for the men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles
long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only
one man.
God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I
created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates.
Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud.
Learn from him! Tell them, my son, how you managed to be the only
one in this line?"
The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
HELL & HEAVEN
A devotee was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, “Lord, I would like to know what heaven and hell are like.”
The Lord led the devotee to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the devotee looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of soup which smelt delicious and made the devotee’s mouth water.
The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of soup and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The devotee shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, “You have seen hell.”
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of soup which made the devotee's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The devotee said, “I don't understand.”
“It is simple” said the Lord, “It requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other. While the greedy think only of themselves.”
Lord Krishna declares in the Bhagavad-gita, “There are three gates leading to this hell — lust, anger and greed. Every sane man should give these up, for they lead to the degradation of the soul.”
In the mode of passion, people become greedy, and their hankering for sense enjoyment has no limit. One can see that even if one has enough money and adequate arrangements for sense gratification, there is neither happiness nor peace of mind. That is not possible, because one is situated in the mode of passion. If one wants happiness at all, his money will not help him; he has to elevate himself to the mode of goodness by practicing Krishna consciousness. When one is engaged in the mode of passion, not only is he mentally unhappy, but his profession and occupation are also very troublesome. He has to devise so many plans and schemes to acquire enough money to maintain his status quo. This is all miserable.
The Lord led the devotee to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the devotee looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of soup which smelt delicious and made the devotee’s mouth water.
The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of soup and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The devotee shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, “You have seen hell.”
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of soup which made the devotee's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The devotee said, “I don't understand.”
“It is simple” said the Lord, “It requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other. While the greedy think only of themselves.”
Lord Krishna declares in the Bhagavad-gita, “There are three gates leading to this hell — lust, anger and greed. Every sane man should give these up, for they lead to the degradation of the soul.”
In the mode of passion, people become greedy, and their hankering for sense enjoyment has no limit. One can see that even if one has enough money and adequate arrangements for sense gratification, there is neither happiness nor peace of mind. That is not possible, because one is situated in the mode of passion. If one wants happiness at all, his money will not help him; he has to elevate himself to the mode of goodness by practicing Krishna consciousness. When one is engaged in the mode of passion, not only is he mentally unhappy, but his profession and occupation are also very troublesome. He has to devise so many plans and schemes to acquire enough money to maintain his status quo. This is all miserable.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
Principles of life
Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.
You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.
When everything else is lost, the future stillremains.
Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war .
The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.
If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.
Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.
You won't get a second chance to make the first impression .
Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.
Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.
If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.
Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything
There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.
There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise and those who don't take it.
The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.
Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.
Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship
You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.
When everything else is lost, the future stillremains.
Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war .
The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.
If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.
Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.
You won't get a second chance to make the first impression .
Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.
Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.
If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.
Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything
There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.
There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise and those who don't take it.
The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.
Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.
Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship
THREE IMPORTANT QUALITIES FOR LIFE:
CONFIDENCE:One Day all villagers decided to pray for rain.On the day of prayer all people gathered & Only one boy comes with umbrella. THAT'S CONFIDENCE.
TRUST:Trust should be like feeling of a 1 year old baby, When you throw him in the air, he laughs....Because he knows you will catch him...
HOPE:Every night we go to bed, Have no assurance to get up alive in the next morningBut still we have many plans for coming day...
KEEP CONFIDENCE, TRUST IN GOD AND NEVER LOSE HOPE...
WHO IS RICH & WHO IS POOR
One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
THREE DREAMS OF A MAN
1. To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
2. To be as rich as his child believes.
3. To have as many women as his wife suspects.
2. To be as rich as his child believes.
3. To have as many women as his wife suspects.
Reason behind the failure of Survey of UN!!!!
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure,
In Africa they didn't know what 'food’ meant,
In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant,
In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant,
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant,
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant,
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant,
And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!!!
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure,
In Africa they didn't know what 'food’ meant,
In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant,
In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant,
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant,
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant,
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant,
And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!!!
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